A Letter For Harry Reid

To the respectable Harry Reid of Nevada,

I understand that your time is taken up working on solving the great problems that affect this country on a daily basis. I just wanted to take the time to commend you for your valiant and heroic efforts to stifle Rush Limbaugh's freedom of speech with accusations filled with words that he never said to begin with. With that said I need to ask you a favor.

While you are writing resolutions to attack talk radio hosts, can you write one for us bloggers as well? I'd appreciate it greatly.

You see, we bloggers understand the great service you provide, keeping the American people in the dark and advocating surrender on a daily basis. I couldn't help but not ask you to do us all a favor and take all of our arrogant protestant voices out at once.

We all understand that America is truly in need of a government that is in complete control of every aspect of the people's lives. After all the Constitution is living and breathing, and apparently it's been breathing too long. Things like life, individual liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are too ambiguous and vague to be truly integrated into American society. After all, you and your fellow colleagues truly understand our needs so much better than we do, and I couldn't possibly risk my best interests with something as immature and radical as free will.

We really don't need to be involved in our decisions if you guys can take them away from us. After all, we can get a better night's sleep, knowing that our fate is completely out of our control and in your safe hands.

So keep up the good work even though you don't need my encouragement. Obviously a person doesn't need to even say anything for you guys to know what were really thinking and pounce. Truly your telepathy and supreme intelligence impresses me on a daily basis.

Also if you don't mind I would like resolutions that ban canned corn, barbie dolls, creepy carnies, and hippies as well as a national holiday honoring The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

May MoveOn.org bless you!!

YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!!!

PS: Can you send me a response on biodegradable paper made from resources from your vacant useless but strangely profitable and commercially valuable land outside Las Vegas? I've seen it. It's very brown.